KOMBAT.couch is a two-button fighting game where the winner's fatality is a paragraph written by an LLM on the spot, and the loser is sent into a therapy session that streams live for the rest of the internet to watch.
Pick a fighter. Pick HIGH, LOW, or BLOCK every round. Mix-ups beat patterns. The fourth unblocked hit FOCUSES — doubles damage. KO at zero HP.
An LLM writes a narrative fatality in the winner's style. Never gore. Always specific. Severity from petty to literary to devastating. Twitch chat votes which.
The loser is sent into a streamed therapy session with one of four AI therapists. The fight context is in the system prompt. The transcript is the most-shared thing on the internet that day.
Pure muscle. Reads only changelogs.
Method actor for the LinkedIn era.
The sharpest thing in any room.
Builder. Shipper. Sleeper of four hours.
Dragon stance. Open laptop. Aggressively present.
Brand new. Insufferable about it.
The therapy session is the part players actually screenshot. Four therapists, each with a distinct voice. The loser's fighter is the patient — their personality and the fatality they just suffered are in the system prompt.
The transcript is yours forever. The session has a permanent share URL. Mute it, clip it, post it.
13 fighters. 4 therapists. Infinite ways to lose with dignity, or without it.